William Shakespeare's Land of the Dead

Friday the 13th? That's so last month. Break windows, walk under ladders, cross paths with cats of all hues 'cause nothing is gonna break your weekend stride.

Friday: All the world's a stage and IT'S UNDER ZOMBIE ATTACK! Watch the Bard put the hurt on the undead at Plays and Players' William Shakespeare's Land of the Dead. If blood, brain-eating and Billy just ain't doin' it for, try the some of this weekend's other theater offerings like Road (which originally starred ultimate badass Ian Dury!), transplanted from Lancashire to West Philly (fewer bad teeth, more dirty hippies?), or Eugene O'Neill's classic Long Day's Journey Into Night. But if you really want to keep it old school — 'scuse — olde check out the sword swallowin', fire blowin' antics of the Olde City Sideshow.

Saturday: Keep it kinky tonight at a Passional with some safe and sound wax play with the Sire Blue. Dudes even got his own candle line for your hunka hunka burnin' love pleasure. Then get socially conscious with hometown hero Mark Webber's directorial debut: Explicit Ills. Check out Sam Adams' review first, or go in blind and compare and contrast.

Sunday: It's Selection Sunday. Mama Omnibus has a surefire, fool-proof NCAA plan: Pick the team with the better jersey. I'm sure all the guys taking advantage of the NCAA specials at Smiths will have a similar strategy. But there's Smiths and then there's the Smiths (see what I did there?). Go to the Academy of Music and see what Morrissey has been doing with his time. Mama Omnibus just got far too excited about The Smiths/Smiths connection. Why don’t you go see Pete Wiley or Grid Mesh instead.

The Clog Weekend Omnibus: This is your lucky weekend