So sang a few editors of a certain age when we brought in this lovely cologne for men.
Apparently, Branded was some awful TV show in the '60s starring Chuck Connors - few remembered specifics of the show, just the song. Our art director said her little brother would sing during long family car rides, "What do you do when you're stranded, and you don't have a roll?"
According to the book Total Television, Chuck Connors played Jason McCord, "an Army officer wrongfully court-martialed after the Battle of Bitter Creek (he was the only known survivor) and dishonorably discharged." Poor guy.
But all this has little to do with Branded-in-a-bottle, which smells more like bug repellent than the pleasant stench of a man who knows he's a man.
What do you do when you're Branded? Take a bath.
Available at Western clothing stores. We found it at Boot Scootin', Route 113, Redden, DE, (302) 854-9336.