It's a shame voting for a Dem isn't like VH1's ¡Viva Hollywood! The candidates would slap each other while reliving the "Seven deadly sins of telenovelas" and the loser would have to watch his-or-her own death scene upon elimination. Voters — we'd swig tequila through the tallying process like Maria Conchita Alonzo. Ole. But no matter who you like, compañeros, Hill (do it) or Barry (maybe 2012) for your numero uno telenovela nominee, you have to vote. Philly's City Commissioners can't read your mind like Viva's flamey Walter Mercado.
► WHOWHATWHERE: Stumping: Jessica Lange and Caroline Kennedy looked stony (was it the Botox freeze?) while hawking for Obama at the Keswick. Chelsea Clinton did more chewing than carousing for Mom at Tinto. (She'da gone to Bump but heard they had an Obama poster in the window.) Enough politics. What about PFFest pest John Leguizamo? Despite being nice to everyone who approached him at Pearl lounge and smiling through caviar at Mary Patel's place, The Leg was a jagoff, according to several PFFest peeps. And I think he had a bad eye job. Quite the opposite was Shane "Darby Crash" West from What We Do Is Secret. The charmer hung at O.N.E.'s PFFest bash/David Carroll's b-day jam and talked about playing North Star with his old band Average Joe and the Troc with the Germs. During Urban Professionals' new Friday soiree at Club 27, host Michael Jackson welcomed "Lights, Camera, Action!" MC Mr. Cheeks. Cosmetic entrepreneur/Bowie wife Iman was spied walking majestically through the Marriott Hotel. No word whether she was here for biz, pleasure or to see where hubby did David Live.
► Philly's Fire Museum label is having a Fire sale/jamboree with harmonium player Aditi Tahiti, ESP-stalwart Alan Sondheim, Dora Bleu, George Korein and Eric Carbonara at the Balcony April 21. Dig museumfire.com and this week's Music lead.
► Philly Film Fest/TLA Releasing boss Ray Murray says that despite shrinking from last year ("18 percent fewer screenings"), PFF's attendance was way up in '08. "Could've been the weather [or] that we got the guide out in plenty of time." Before the madhouse of the Richie Ashburn and Patti Smith flicks, Murray figured attendance figures were over 70,000.
► Rumor has Gayborhood building/biz Sisters available for sale at a cool under-$2 million.
► He's in Chi-Town promoting his grime this week, but last week CP's own Dev79 dropped the tech-heavy crotch-hopping Street Bass Anthems Vol. 3. Find it. And dig up CP's ex-dance-list-dude, ghetto-blip Sean O'Neal who's back from Germany for a hot minute for Transmission Thursdays at Liberty Bar (2204 Market) with Jamie Morris.
► When Michael Churbuck (ex-GM Denim, Striped Bass) returned to Philly from L.A., you hadda figure he wouldn't stay dormant long. M-Chur gathered up Billy McGhee (Bar Noir) as his GM, got the McFadden dudes (supposedly) to back him, and took over ye old Zanzibar Blue space at Broad and Walnut for something for May.
► Alexandra Day's got a honey-of-a-honeyed voice and some sad, vulnerable songs on the chamber-folk debut No Castles No Moats she's selling-and-playing during a North Star release bash April 20.
► Writer Terry Lee Barrett is mum. But rumor has it his script for Shady Dawgs caught the eye of Harvey Keitel. Word is the bad lieutenant wants to do the voice of a tough pit bull, "Toots."
► For its first anniversary (April 22, L'Etage) First Person StorySlams skews its usuals by going reality-show mad-I-tell-you-mad. Host Ingrid Wiese, Feb. 2008's Slam winner, was a contestant on the faux reality show Joe Schmo 2. But a smart one — not only did she figure out the hoax, producers made her part of its cast.
► Congrats to North Philly rapper Gillie da Kid. The drug charges (conspiracy, possessing with intent to deliver) were dropped AND he signed with Koch (squelching those G-Unit/Atlantic rumors) for his Get It How You Live CD.
► Keith Montgomery runs Philapsychosis Productions ... into the ground. SIKE. He's done fun DJ-jams at Ruba. Now he's kicking Recovery at the Tritone for a once-monthly Friday with DJs Bushy and Battleaxe Baby April 18.
► Remember we dropped the exclusive on Café Habana's closing and Laurentiu Muras buying that same space? Muras has a name for the new gastropub and it's Mamaia. 'Member we dropped the exclusive on Gioia Mia's closing? Bruno "Apothecary" Pouget bought the Sansom Street space and it'll be called Noble. Look for both for summer.
► The first-ever NME Awards USA (El Rey Theatre, L.A., April 23) nominated Philly/Brooklynite Santogold for best new Solo Artist/Live Act a week before her Downtown label debut hits the block.
► It's 2008's best CD so far — from Philly, too — and if you miss Pink Skull unleashing Zeppelin 3 at Fluid April 18, you're a dick.
► Parting and sweet sorrow: Capriccio Café & Espresso Bar in the Warwick Hotel building closed on Sunday.
► If you haven't grabbed your schedule for the weeklong HeartWorks/Mazzoni Center benefit, get it. From April 18, the likes of Gang Gang Dance, Zoe Strauss, Virgil Marti and Ann Magnuson will participate (inliquid.com/heartworks). See Arts. And keep your ears open for news about the Sapphire Fund's scholarship in honor of the late Tony Sparacino.